the quiet
is so tangible
so thick and daunting
that the slightest sound
seems piercing and offensive
making me jump

you aren’t here
and i’m still waiting
for you to come
and make it all okay
but yet again
that day is not today

so i curl up
under the covers
in the middle of the afternoon
and i sleep
to turn off my mind
and hide from tears

but i cannot run
fear follows
reminding me even in dreams
that you have not come
it whispers to me
that i am still without

as i wake i remember
the promise of you
spoken from the lips
of the One who loves me most
and i cling to it
in this moment

i await your presence
the time when you find me
and i see fire begin to grow
deep in your eyes
i wait for your intentions
to be made known

i hold my heart
as i consider to myself
how you will pursue me
and how you will lead me
but patience grows tired
and hope hangs by a thread

in this moment
my spirit feels broken
uncertain and in need
waiting for love
attended by only my thoughts
and silence


where are you

the sun has disappeared behind the dirt
but the moon hides her face tonight
my house is in order
another quiet ending
to another noisy day
there’s no need to sit at the table
with dinner prepared for only one
an evening without conversation
no playful banter echoes off these walls
i open a book and put on music
the angst-driven voice soothing me
singing, “where are you?”
and i am saddened
because my heart understands the lyric
as i sip my tea and stare
at random dark spots on the carpet
i can’t help but wonder
if you’ve forgotten your mission
to find me
did you get lost along the way
or perhaps stop to visit
the castle of another queen
or are you simply taking your time
savoring your freedom
drawing out this torture
unconcerned with how i need you
more than i ever have before

it is here

in the dry time
i can do nothing
to quench my thirst
i cry out
knowing that you hear me
and i wait
certain that you will give
with perfect provision
to my every need
and i will be satisfied
when you deem it is due
i continue to walk
and as my feet grow heavy
with every step
and my breath grows haggard
with my strain
i keep my eyes on you
unquestionably you are there
lifting up my feet
and leading me to the next step
until i finally fall to my knees
before you
and with my sunburned face
and my ashen hands
will i open my tear rimmed eyes
to see the oasis
you have laid out before me
and your voice will whisper
in the chambers of my soul
that it is here
in you alone
that i find sustenance

I Have Found the One My Soul Loves


Today I will look for You,
and I will find You
in every mundane thing I see.
I will seek out Your voice
when all I hear
is the thrum of the air conditioner
and the whirring of paper,
fresh from the printer.
I will still wait to hear
that still small voice,
“I love you,”
and it will be the loudest thing
I have ever heard.
My heart will take flight,
and I will find You
in every smile on every face,
in every graceful blink,
in every trembling tree,
in the colors of the skyline.
I will see You there
because You have spoken to me
and my eyes are open to You.