Wild

She was wild, not like some crazy thing, but fierce and focused and savage, like a lioness hunting in her natural habitat. Her eyes were ferocious, filled with fire reflecting a strength only obtained by rebuilding one’s self from brokenness. She was beauty and destruction in the same moment.

The Wall

broken-heartBrick by brick, she built a wall
She made it thick and laid it tall
Inside she knew her heart would safely stay
Until a hero came along
And proved to her that he was strong
By tearing all of her brick wall away

One timely day, in came a knight
Armor clad on a horse of white
With battle scars that proved he knew of war
He stole a kiss and she was charmed
And in a breath she was disarmed
Unlike she’d ever found herself before

He told her tales of time long passed
And she considered that at last
She may have found her hero in this man
She let the wall come tumbling down
And as the bricks fell to the ground
She fell into his spell, as was his plan

He told her that he’d never leave
And that to her alone he’d cleave
That he was not like those she’d known before
She sighed and swooned and fell in love
So sure he was sent from above
More than she could ever ask God for

And when she’d given him her heart
And sworn that they would never part
He laughed unto himself and hissed her name
He told her of the other ones
Whom he had fixed his lusts upon
And she, the fool, knew that she was to blame

She knew full well her walls were meant
To keep her heart from every dent
But like a silly girl, she’d let them fall
She felt embarrassed and betrayed
Her spirit crushed, her mind dismayed
Hurt that she had ever loved at all

 

she cried

crying
as she stood beneath the hot, steamy stream
her heart let out a silent scream
and her tears began to graze her cheek
where the water had already been
she told herself she’d be stronger today
she’d hold her head high and give nothing away
because she deserved better and would have it
though all that she really wanted was him

 

Run

i don’t know who i am today
or where the road i’m on is gonna lead
i’m a stranger here
in the midst of crowds that know me
and i need to feel
the pavement moving down beneath my feet

i want to feel the burn
in my swelling lungs
to find a dream
or something to become
i need a place to be
that isn’t where i’m from
i need to run

run

I Guess I’ll Save Myself

My heart hurts
And I hear the thunderous beating
In my ears
Drowning out the silence
That surrounds me
In this dark room

The walls closed in
As you left
And it was my fault
Yet again
I’m to blame
For feeling so much

I should really learn
How to keep my walls up
I should wield my own sword
At the dragons
Keeping me in this tall tower
But that was your job

I hoped that just once
The knight would come
To rescue me
But you passed by
On your way, once again,
To another princess’s tower

echo

puddles

sometimes i can’t help but think
with clarity and absolution
that i was meant to die alone

the stabbing pain grips my chest
at the most inopportune moments
and i choke as my mouth goes dry

in this moment i am certain
that i have run out of tears
and so i sob silently with no evidence

until standing beneath the faucet
the hot water blends with the stream on my cheek
and i feel nothing

there is no knock on the door
no call or text or letter or message
to let me know that i am wrong

i am reminded by the silence
that my private tears are as unnoticed
as the mask i wear in the daylight

 

purpose

mountain

for years and years she’d called the valley home
unsure of what to do with her instinctive urge to roam
so she’d rise and dance the day through with the sun
never quite could shake the feeling that someday she’d need to run
so one day she sighed and packed her life away
and said goodbye to all she loved cause she knew she couldn’t stay
she felt the stirring strong inside her gypsy soul
she craved to feel alive and free and whole
her wings spread out and flew her to the west
with an aching heart beating faster and faster in her chest
she wondered if she’d ever find the pieces of herself
or if she’d flown too far, or if she never should have left

but when she topped the mountain
at where her wings had brought her to
she cried and looked around her
she knew her purpose now had found her
the wind tangled in her brown hair as it blew
and she whispered to herself what she already knew
she’d lived her whole life waiting for this view

lost at sea

sailboatwoman

she let the walls come tumbling down
at the coaxing of his smile
and opened up her heart to hope
with love laughing all the while
such a foolish thing to think
the day would ever come
that a man would ever ground her feet
when she was always born to run

so she packed her dreams and set her sails
as the new wind howled her name
and she headed out on the ocean tide
in the direction from which it came
and though the waves would rock her boat
with strong and violent force
she made a vow to herself
that she would never again lose the course